how long HAS it been?

seriously? the last time I posted something was February 12? Holy crap! well, since then my Grandfather passed away (ironically on the 13th), I finished my last full semester of classes (thankfully), and am looking forward to seeing Marie and Ceb (three weeks!). I am working full time and taking one class this term. I have three new roommates, two are from Canada and the other one is a girl who has lived in my ward since last August. Aubrey and Lily are doing well, growing bigger everyday. I am still puzzled on what to do after August. I am pretty sure I will be moving to MI to spend some time with Ceb. We shall see. It all depends on if I can find some sort of a job. Well, I've been sick all day (thank you Mother Nature) so I'm going to crawl back under the covers and get some sleep, try to get my mind off of the cramps. 

Kisses and Hugs!!

Drew

You promised me forever
You promised me eternity
But you left me alone
I was foolish and took you back
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
You proved that a human being was capable of hurting another
...Twice
The first time it was a clean break
You cheated and I learned to forget
Simple, you took your heart back and returned mine
Like a twisted UPS ad

But the second time can only be compared to the work of a butcher
Sloppy, choppy and fragmented
So much time
So many years invested
Wasted

I returned your heart
Fully intact
And you returned mine in 1,000 pieces
Selfishly keeping a piece for yourself
Never to return
Now I am left to go on, questing if my heart will ever be complete

Impress Me

I pretend it doesn't bother me
When you talk about other girls
Girls who are thinner, shorter and blonder
Girls you desperately want to go out with
You ask me for advice
How to impress said girl
What to wear, even how to do your hair
You want to impress her on your first date
Meanwhile inside I desperately want to be that girl
The one who gives you butterflies

Our Own Mind

I smile and laugh as the people go by
Never ever wondering why?

Asking the questions that are so hard to answer
But aren't we our own master?

What have I done?
I walked away from you
You wanted me back
You had a change of heart

Or did you?
Do you remember the pain you caused me
You used my love
You took my heart and threw it on the floor
You broke it into a million pieces leaving me to pick them up
You destroyed my heart twice

THAT'S why I will NEVER take you back

Silent Night

I stand there screaming as you walk away
Silent, painful screams, the ones you refuse to hear
Why are you walking away from me?
After all we had?
After all we could have become.
And yet you refuse to acknowledge me and my heart
You refuse to hear my screams.

my mask

The mask I wear for you is one of a forced smile trying to be a good friend
While you talk of the beauty of the women around me, beauty that I will never measure up to
I will never be blond or petite
I smile and nod while my heart silently breaks for the love that will never be returned
Silently I suffer in the hell that is my mind
You look at me and I feel as if you can see into my soul
See beyond the smiles, forced laughter and reassuring of "I'm fine"
But if you could really see, then we would be.

Gloss

My nails are painted black
Just like the hole you left in my heart
When you walked away and rejected me
Left to pick up the broken pieces
But you took a piece with you
And now it will remain as a hole

Stolen Sleep

The only time I see you is in my sleep
The quick glances and stolen kisses
In that slumber I can’t remember the hurt you caused me
But these are simply acts of a yearning mind
They will never translate to real life
When I wake I am forced with the memory of you
The quick glances and stolen kisses